The saddest day

The saddest day of your life is not when you sell out. The saddest day of your life is when you sell out and there isn't anyone who wants to buy.
Norman Spinrad

Reflecting on family

Tis weekend we finally bought a stroller for Regan. It's the Mercedes of strollers. Got everything on it that you might want in a stroller. Satellite Radio...you name it.

This afternoon, I took Regan for her first long walk in the stroller and it gave me a chance to reflect on that last 3 weeks. Has it really been only 3 weeks since Regan showed up in our lives? Seems a lot longer. OUr family is now complete. Wife, husband and 2 kids, a boy and a girl.

God has truly blessed me with a wonderful family. Regan and Caleb are wonderful beyond belief. In my dreams, I could not have asked for 2 better kids. Especially Caleb, being almost 4 years old. I love playing with him, chaisng him and playing 'monster', playing sports outside and then watching 'Firefighters', (to those of you born in the 60's, it was also know as 'Emergency!'

Christa is just as fabulous. She takes such great care of the kids that I never have to worry about where the diapers are, if the clothes or pajamas are clean for the kids. Truly great blessings from God.

Perfect description of cooking

Have I mentioned that I'm sort of an amteur chef?

Alex Kapranos, who is the lead singer of the band 'Franz Ferdinand' used to be a prepr cook at a restaurant in Glasgow. When asked about cooking now as a rock star, he said, "When I cook now, it's in that laid-back self-indulgent way that is so therapeutic when you want to clear your head of obnoxious thoughts and savor life instead."

Uh-oh

As I begin to dig deeper into "First Things First', I'm seeing myself more and more as an addict of what is urgent rather than what is important. It's either the clock or the compass and I think that I'm more transfixed by the clock than I am by the compass.

It's an urgency addiction. Well, I'm not over the top on it, but I do tend to have this mindset about doing what is urgent rather than what is important. Covey says, "Daily planning and 'to do' lists essentially keep us focused on prioritizing and doing the urgent. And the more urgency we have in our lives, the less importance we have."

I've got something that is important to do on my list for this week, but it is not 'urgent', therefore I have let it slide for a couple of weeks. Other things have seemed more important at the time.

This is just the beginning of a process for me which will be a great help to me not only in my personal life and job at the bnak, but even more so in ministry.

What I want to try to do next week is the split my 'to do' list into 2 parts; the urgent and the important. Right now I don't have a grid for splitting them up, but I want to try it and see what happens.

First Things First

I've begun reading Stephen Covey's "First Things First", a book which is pretty much summed up by its title. How do we put those things that are and should be most important at the forefront of our lives?

I'm only a few pages into it, but I'm already asking questions about the way I organize my time, or my 'to do' list every week. Normally I make my weeklong 'to do' list on Saturdays and it carries me through 7 days. I usually have 35 or so things on it, ranging from sweeing the house to setting up small group meetings. But on my list currently, all things are given equal weight. They are not prioritized according to importance-they are just all the 'things' I need to do.

I do believe that in the coming weeks there will be a refinement in how I do this list. I don't know what that refinement will look like, but I'm sure it's coming. Stay tuned.

Thinking about summer

It's only the middle of February, but I already find myself thinking about this summer and where we might go in the Sierras for vacation. No big trips this year due to the presence of littlre Regan Grace. But I'm thinkin in July or so that we'd make a trip to Sorensens for a few days and then wander over to Yosemite for a few days. Bear River resort off of Hwy 88 is also a possibility as is Bishop Creek Ranch, which is a bit farther away, but it looks like a pretty incredible place near South Lake off of Hwy 395

Christa says funny things like Caleb

I'm getting used to posting the funny things that Caleb says at age 3. Tonight Christa joined the hit parade.

Caleb has a little plastic fishing rod that he was casting about. He managed to have it in the area of baby Regan. Christa called out to Caleb, 'Caleb, don't fish the baby!"

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

This second beatitude seems to comedirectly out of the first. The first sets the basic condition and attitude that one must have in order to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. This second one almost asks 'so what?" of the first. If one has a deep sense of spiritual inadequacy, what does one do with it.

One mourns. It is the mourning of one who witnesses his own spiritual bankruptcy. This is mourning over sin. This is Godly sorrow which will lead one to repentence.

Such mourning is still described as 'happy' or 'blessed'. A blatant contradiction, one would assume. But these beautitudes take human assumptions that turn them upside down. In the Kingdom of Heaven, the mourners are indeed the happy ones.

Why? Such mourning leads to comfort. Not just a pat on the back ot an arm around the shoulder type of comfort. This comfort comes from God and turns mourners joyous. Paul calls God the "God of all comfort" (2 Cor 1:3).

Our comfort comes from knowing that our sin, our affliction is taken away and nailed to the cross. Our comfort is in Jesus. Our comfort is in the ultimate forgiveness for our sin

Trattoria La Siciliana

This morning Christa and I dropped Caleb at school and then popped over to Starbucks for coffee and muffins. Gotta enjoy these 'date' moments when we can. Even baby Regan is with us in her carseat on the ground.

A guy drinking coffee and reading the paper in one of the chairs notices her and asks how old she is. It turns out that his wife is six months pregnant with their first daughter. Not only that, but he is the head chef and part-owner (with his siblings) of an Italian restaurant in Berkeley called Trattoria La Siciliana.

He described it as southern Italian as opposed to northern Italian that you find in most Italian restaurants. The main difference is that southern Italians were traditionally poorer than the ones from the north. They had to make do with what they had for food. For example, sometimes they use toasted bread crumbs on top of past rather than parmesan cheese. Other 'peasant' food that he mentioned were such things as stuffed sardines. There's no way Christa would ever go in for that, but I'd sure like to try it. I think we're going to try it out sometime in the next few weeks.

Factoid that may interest only me

That news story about the NASA astronaut love triange is still hanging out there. Supposedly the one who was charged drove 600 miles to confront whoever it is she was going to confront. So she could get there quicker, she wore a diaper so she wouldn't have to...you know.

Then the newspaper article mentioned that astronauts all wear diapers during launch and landing. Fun little factoid.

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven

This first beautitude sets the stage for all that will follow. It begins with the word 'blessed' (better translated as 'happy') and then presents a particular character trait. This is followed by a result. If somebody embodies a particular characteristic, then this is what they will receive.

The first beautitude is also the most basic and leads into all the others. The subject is humility. It is not those who are materally poor-that is another Greek word entirely. This is those who are poor to the point of being a beggar, but those who are beggarly in a spiritual way. Remember, it is not just 'poor' but 'poor in spirit'. Those who realize their deep spiritual poverty, that they are sinners desperately in need of relief, or salvation.

Such people, who realize they have nothing in and of themselves, that they cannot save themsevles, are the ones to receive the Kingdom of Heaven. Not those who see themselves as spiritually self-sufficient, but those who cannot be.

This is the basic attitude needed for salvation, that we cannot save ourselves nor are good enough in and of ourselves. These are the people who meet, love and follow Jesus

D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones

In my continuing study of the gospel of matthew, I'm beginning to get into the Beautitudes. It will tkae me a few weeks to wade through them all. But I ran into this thought by the great British preacher D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones on the Sermon on the Mount.

When reading the Sermon on the Mount, we need to keep in mind the difference between the 'outside' life vs the 'inside' life. Lloyd-Jones compares the Christian life to playng music. A person may play Beethoven's 'Moonlight Sonata' accurately and without a single mistake-yet not really play what the composer had in mind. Even though the notes are played correctnly, it is not the sonata that is being played. THe pianist may strike the keyes at the right time, in the right order, but he is missing the essence, the soul of the composition. He may not express what Beethoven wanted to be expressed. The true artist may indeed play the right notes at the right time. But accurate playing is not what makes one a giid musician. It is the expressin of what lies behind the notes that enthralls the listeners. In the same way, Christians are to be concerned about the letter of God's Word, but beyond that they are concerned with the spirit, the deeper will and purpose that lie behind the letter. That concern reveals an obedient heart filled with the deisre to glorify God.

Another saying from Caleb

One of the nights when we were driving home from the hospital last week, I was trying to tell Caleb (who was in the back seat) something. I repeated it 2 or 3 times and he still couldn't hear or understand what I was saying. Then he piped up with, "Daddy, I can't hear you. My ears are too quiet."

Regan Grace Miller

Regan Grace Miller was born last Sunday morning, Jan 28th at 8:20 AM. She clocked in at 7 lb 12 oz and was (is) 20 in long.

Christa originally developed a fever that Saturday night, which is not an especially good thing when you are nine months pregnant. So for the second time in a week, we were off to the hospital. Her temp was about 101.5. She was also 5 ce. dilated. Her doctor, Dr. Darci Baird, said that after all she had been through, tht she deserved to have this baby and that they would induce her in a few hours.

Just a couple of hours later, Christa went into 'legitimate' labor, and helped with a little patossin (inducement drug), Regan popped on out. From there is where the story gets interesting.

Christa still had the fever from some unknown infection and her heart rate was about 140. Regan had a little fluid in her lungs and the doctor was concerned that whatever infection Christa had might have been passed on. So both Christa and Regan ended up in separate ICU's, in both cases more of a precautin than anything else. But they were both there for 36 hours.

So I spent a couple of days shuttling between 2 ICU's and taking care of Caleb, shuttling him between friend's houses, etc. Eventually everyone got the 'all clear' and we all came home on Wednesday afternoon. Since then we are in the midst of what I would call 'adjusting'.